Forgive Yourself

Reflection is a great tool, in proper perspective. Sometimes looking back on what’s happened is necessary in the process of growth. However, there are times when we look back and just get stuck looking at things. All the old feelings come back. That old mentality comes back. Self blame and shame resurface. Stop right there…

You have to learn to forgive yourself. Forgetting is nearly impossible, but holding yourself hostage to the past is unfair and stifling, to say the least. To use myself as an example…yes, I am guilty of a lot of things (Lord, have mercy). When I look back in reflection, I run through a lot of instances where I was wrong, where I hurt people. I see times where I was even a danger to my own self, when I created an environment for others to misuse me. The truths I stood in then, I don’t have to stand in now.

Accountability is so critical. If you’ve never owned certain things, start today with acceptance of the realities of the past, even if that past is recent. Today is a day that you have never seen, and you won’t see again. Forgive.  Let go of the anger and resentment. Stop shaming yourself. Experiences never come to bind us in negative spaces. They teach us things for the journey going forward. Everything on the road won’t be great. Some of the roads are worn, bumpy, raggedy. The scenery may be dreary and unpleasant. You keep going until you reach the place you were looking for from the onset. You may reflect on the journey getting there, but you’ll be appreciative of the place you’re actually in. That’s what forgiveness does. It allows you to appreciate the space you’re in, without clouds from the past blocking the sunshine of today. So look back, but please, don’t be confined by the rough and tough places on the journey. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Things will be okay, my love.

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